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ShaiHulud

Hello, I am ShaiHulud and I just joined

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THIS STORY IS VERY DISGUSTING AND CAN BE VERY OFFENSIVE, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Susy DeLucci and the Miracle of Life. One morning around 5am 22 year old Susan DaLucci of Kittery Maine, woke up with a painful need to urinate. At first she thought she had diarrhea, but when she stood up out of bed, she realized that it was urinary pain. It was very similar to the feeling of having diarrhea, just out the wrong hole.

 

She wobbled to the toilet and upon sitting on it, her vagina erupted into the most horrific messy farting noise anyone has ever heard. In paralyzing pain, Ms. DeLucci for the next few minutes continued to push and squirt out of her vagina a burning tide of wretch and filth while she gripped the sides of the toilet, white-knuckled. She was screaming wildly, and the neighbors called the police.

 

When medics arrived they found Ms. DeNucci unconscious lying on the floor of her bathroom wearing nothing but her bath robe. Running down her leg, was a stream of brown and green syrup. The medic had to transfer her to a stretcher, so he grabbed her left leg which was bent crossing her other leg, to straighten her out. She was lying there all twisted up. When he lifted her left leg to straighten her body out, he exposed her vagina at which point a creature, no larger than the tip of a finger wormed its way out of her genitals and landed on the floor with a wet popping sound. Shocked, the medic stared at the creature that was lying on the tile bathroom floor in a casing of mucous. It was a tiny mud shrimp and it sat there on the cold floor gasping for water while flipping itself back and forth. The horrified medic turned to the toilet as he felt the nausea setting in. When he put his face down into the toilet to puke what he saw was so horrific that to this day he cannot look into a toilet without convulsing.

 

The entire toilet bowl was boiling with baby brown mud shrimp flipping and splashing at a furious pace. If you think that is bad - wait until you hear how it happened:

 

Ms. DeLucci official death was the result of a combination of shock and severe head trauma. She stood up over the toilet in pain and when she saw what she had done, she went into shock and fell, smashing her head on the toilet and then on the floor. It is believed by medical police that on two nights before the accident she had purchased a live lobster at a fish market. While lying in a tub, she gently inserted the creature's tail into her vagina to derive pleasure. At that point, she held a lighter under the creature's face causing it to flip its tail in a violent snapping motion.

 

The medics found a lesbian XXX video in the VCR and the TV was positioned on a table in front of the tub. The lobster was found in the kitchen garbage can wrapped in a paper bag. Traces of Ms. DeLucci's DNA were found on the lobster along with pubic hairs that had wedged themselves between the lobster tail joints. The lobster's face was lightly burned with the same fuel used in lighters. The lobster's digestive track and colon were found to be full of mud shrimp egg casings. Doctors believe that the lobster had eaten them (they are common in the water at fish markets and are usually harmlessly boiled to death) and the lobster had crapped them out into Ms. DeLucci's bunny when she was torturing it. Maine mud shrimp only take two days to gestate and Ms. DeLucci was only four days away from getting her period, doctors believe that at that point of her menstrual cycle, her womb was the perfect PH balance to grow these mud shrimp which are a much larger version of the popular "Sea Monkey" pets sold throughout the US. Over night the eggs had hatched and the mud shrimp began doubling in size every ten minutes. You can imagine the pain she was in when she woke up that morning and gave birth to well over 1,000 mud shrimp in her toilet.

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Wow.

 

I thought this story was bad. It realy happened to a girl I know... seriously... no, I know what you are thinking but it did... anyway...

 

...some kids from my church went on a mission trip to Africa. They spent several days in a city before traveling out to the "country" where things were pretty rough. Anyway, this particular girl was terrified of bugs and was having trouble sleeping at night due to the sounds of all the buzzing and skuttling in the hut. Low on sleep, she decided to trust her mosquito net, despite the holes, and block out the noise with her walkman.

 

The next morning she awoke somewhat refreshed and went outside to do her toilet. Now the catch here is that she had been on her period and when she removed her tampon, clinging to it and apparently feeding, were three giant black African cockroaches.

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As much as I like vaginas, I thought my intro thread could use an actual absinthe related post.

 

I have been reading posts compairing the taste of Jade's NO to the VS. It seems that most of the "experts" notice a vast difference between the two (e.g. G&C's 1-10 rating).

 

I sat down with a glass of each the other day and here is my review.

 

I noticed a difference in the color of the two when mixed with water. The NO was a blue-green compaired to the VS's yellow-green. The aroma was slightly different as well with the NO giving a slightly deeper, smoother nose to the VS's lighter, cleaner scent. The tast was similar to the smell. The NO seemed sweeter and smoother than the VS's lighter more crisp feel on the tongue.

 

Overall, I found them to be 90% similar with very little difference. This must be due to my uneducated palate since so many others seem to notice a vast difference. Side by side, I could distinguish the two but if someone handed me a glass of one I am not sure I could tell you which it was.

 

Good news is, I like them both but prefer the VS.

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Whether or not you like it. ;)

 

The kind and degree of bitterness, herbal flavor besides anise, grassyness, spicyness, citrus notes, a wine or vinegar undertaste, soft floral tones, chemical taste, metallic flavors, a hint of caramel-butterscotch. Mouthfeel: is it buttery and round or astringent and sharp? Does it make your tongue numb? What parts, how soon and for how long?

 

These are some of the things to pay attention to. Some are desireable and others are not.

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I think I might like my Absinthe with a healthy dose of Snipe musk.

 

I guess I was just wondering if most people found the Jades to be as different as G&C did.

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No, I'm just a spoiled 'Elitist'.

 

I also find I like certain brands only if I try them BEFORE things like premium clandestines.

 

If I taste them after, they go to the 'it's crap' bin.

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