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US Absinthe is "Fake"


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#1 TheLoucheyMonster!

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 03:13 AM

Absinthe a.k.a the green fairy has achieved legendary liquor status all around the world, its mystery is only exceeded by its power, wait.. that's the Continuum Transfunctioner. Absinthe is considered taboo because it contains hallucinogens such as Thujone and Wormwood. It also helps that Authentic Absinthe with the full ingredients is banned from being sold within the United States. Sure, you can stumble down to the local liquor store and buy a bottle of "authentic" Absinthe in the states, but it won't contain the hallucinogens absinthe is famous for. So how would you ever know which Absinthe brands are best? We're going to attempt to fix this problem by listing the best absinthe brands in case you happen to make your way over to Europe or your local post office.

Whether Absinthe contains hallucinogens or not, it's still really strong and contains almost twice as much alcohol than common alcohol like rum, or vodka. Absinthe is distilled from flowers and herbs known as grande wormwood together with green anise and sweet fennel. From experience, absinthe has a strong licorice taste to it.
Some people mistake Absinthe as a liqueur, but they're wrong. Absinthe isn't bottled with added sugar so it's actually classified as a spirit. Absinthe is traditionally green, but it also can be colorless or even other colors as well (blue, etc.).

Absinthe contains a chemical known as thujone that causes hallucinations and other lucid effects. This chemical is what spurred absinthe's ban status in the United States around 1915. Even though you can purchase absinthe currently in American Liquor stores, it won't contain the authentic amount of thujone for which absinthe is famous for.

So buying a bottle of absinthe in the states is pointless. No one drinks absinthe for the taste of it, just the effects it causes.

How to Drink Absinthe?

You can either drink absinthe straight, or mix it. The most common way is to take a glass full of absinthe and place cubed sugar in a spoon (dipped with a little bit of absinthe) and light it on fire and mix it in the glass. After the whole glass is on fire you drink the glass contents. We're not saying to try this at home, but this is the classic way of drinking it. We've even seen absinthe coladas in Europe.


Top 10 Absinthe brands
1. Doubs Mystique – Our favorite Absinthe. Has a strong wormwood taste and we love the emerald green finish.
2. Versinthe – The perfect starter absinthe, which is why we rated it so high.
3.Duplais – This absinthe can be overwhelming, very strong in every sense.
4. Vieux Pontarlier – Considered by some the best absinthe in the world.
5. Mansinthe – Marilyn Manson's Absinthe. It's made in Switzerland.
6. La Bleue Clandestine – Take a ride on the blue fairy? Crisp, clean, and blue.
7. Jade VS 1898 – Rich flavor and not overwhelming with alcohol taste.
8. Butterfly – Swiss Absinthe that has a yellow tint and strong kick.
9. Kübler – Sweeter absinthe then most, but still gets the job done.
10. Pernod – A French Classic (before the ban), and must on any absinthe list.


Best USA Legalized Absinthe brands
If you love to consume suck, or like to drink fake versions of something, then this list is for you.

  • St. George Absinthe Verte
  • Pacifique
  • Vieux Carre
  • Amerique 1912
  • Sirene
  • Redux
Conclusion:

Hope you're ready for your ride on the green fairy! Absinthe is an acquired taste, but it leads to epic nights and crazy stories that usually involve seeing dead people and being naked. Consume wisely my friend! If you learned anything from this article, may it be that American Absinthe is bullshit and you need to try the real deal before criticizing it.



LINK Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image :blowup:

#2 Joe Legate

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 04:34 AM

What an extraordinary piece of crap. Excellent find in a very sad, sad sort of way, Louchey.

Time to call out the WS Police (after a cup of coffee)! :police:

#3 Absomphe

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 05:38 AM

A flat out :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: :poop: on the WS rating scale.

Yes, I'm Krinkles the Clown on an absinthe a beer bender.

You got a problem with that?


#4 sardonix

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 05:57 AM


So buying a bottle of absinthe in the states is pointless. No one drinks absinthe for the taste of it, just the effects it causes.

How to Drink Absinthe?
The most common way is to take a glass full of absinthe and place cubed sugar in a spoon (dipped with a little bit of absinthe) and light it on fire and mix it in the glass. After the whole glass is on fire you drink the glass contents. We're not saying to try this at home, but this is the classic way of drinking it.

Top 10 Absinthe brands
3.Duplais – This absinthe can be overwhelming, very strong in every sense.
5. Mansinthe – Marilyn Manson's Absinthe. It's made in Switzerland.
9. Kübler – Sweeter absinthe then most, but still gets the job done.
10. Pernod – A French Classic (before the ban), and must on any absinthe list.
Conclusion:

If you learned anything from this article, may it be that American Absinthe is bullshit and you need to try the real deal before criticizing it.



LINK


Nope, no one drinks absinthe for the taste, just wanna trip ballz, dude!

We love the classic pyrotechnic method of preparation!

Wish we could get that authentic Duplais, Mansinthe, Kübler, or Pernod here in the States...

"If I've learned anything from this article", it's that total douche-baggery is still alive and well in the world of absinthe misinformation.
I think, therefore I am. Or am I over-thinking? I am thinking it over...

#5 baubel

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 06:20 AM

:poop:-tastic

The new Bond villian, :poop:-galore?

The author ought to spend a week or a summer working on the Ridge. Hell, I should ought to spend a week or a summer working on the Ridge.

A little technological fix to a spiritual problem.


#6 Hedonmonkey

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 08:47 AM

I think the wank that wrote this shouldn't be allowed to walk the ground that Ridge is made on.
That should be reserved for people who appreciate it. :heart:

Just for the record; I have had one bottle of Kübler (ever), and the last half of the one bottle of Pernod I had went down the sink two weeks ago to make room for something worthy. (couldn't even make myself mix it with anything.)

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#7 Père Ubu

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 09:02 AM

Veracity: :poop:
Objectivity: :poop:
Proper Research: :poop:
Fact checking: :poop:
Intelligence: :poop:
Overall: :poop:

Survey says he is a :poop: head.

#8 Brian Robinson

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 09:20 AM

Just in case my comment gets deleted:

The last thing I want to do is criticize a journalist who tries hard to research a topic before he/she writes an article. But I don't believe that's what this author did, so here goes my rant:

This truly has to be one of the worst researched articles I've read regarding absinthe since its US legalization in 2007. Truly. It's difficult to find one accurate statement in the entire thing.

The only thing I can commend the author on is the list of European absinthes. Most of them on the list are good brands. However, I challenge the author to state truthfully that any of them made him/her hallucinate. Having drank all 10 of them (and stocking each of them in my car), I can say I've never experienced anything of the sort. Especially since the idea that absinthe makes you hallucinate is a myth.

So, instead of arguing it point by point, I'll simply refer you to the Wormwood Society, which is the largest absinthe education organization in the world. Not only does it have hundreds of reviews of worldwide brands (three of the four brands in the picture above don't bear any resemblance to authentic absinthe), but it also has tons of truthful and accurate information about absinthe and its history. The author would be well served to visit it forthwith.

Just a couple of quick points:
1) Absinthe doesn't make you hallucinate
2) You don't set authentic absinthe on fire
3) Thujone has no recreational potential
4) US absinthes are just as authentic as anything made in Europe.
5) Thujone levels do not reflect quality.
6) Historic brands (pre-ban) did not contain levels of thujone any higher than what is found in the US and Europe currently.

Here's a link for you: Is U.S. Absinthe Real Absinthe - http://www.mutineerm...-real-absinthe/

Thank you,

Brian Robinson
Review Editor
Media Liaison
The Wormwood Society


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#9 bksmithey

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 09:44 AM

stocking them in your car, a most excellent typo!

As always, well done and thanks, Brian.

#10 Hedonmonkey

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 09:53 AM

Agreed, well done, B.
I too loved the 'stocking in my car' thing.

I pledge allegiance to Queen Fragg and her mighty state of Hysteria...     -Calvin

 

"Until you stalk and overrun, you can't devour anyone."    -Hobbes


#11 buddhasynth

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 09:55 AM

hey, it's all about being prepared. :cheers:
What part of Klaatu Barada Nikto don't you understand?


...because shoddy absinthes will be flavored with the lubricator of take the lead anise.

#12 precenphix

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 10:01 AM

Jesus, what a mess. Why do people feel the need to do this? It just puzzles me.
Those with knowledge easily sense the truth of things. Those with egos built up on rumor and fancy, tend to maintain a hard line. - Tatan (Evan Camomile)

#13 Brian Robinson

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 10:02 AM

Bah! Damned typos!
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#14 fingerpickinblue

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 10:30 AM

It's a great clue for a "Wheel Of Fortune" before and after.


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#15 Gwydion Stone

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 11:30 AM

Take a look at the rest of the site. It's chock full of ads every other paragraph. It basically a click generator targeting the binge-drinking youth market, and the other articles there pretty much come from the same mentality. It's like the drinking version of Sesame Street for college kids.

This tells you everything you need to know about the site:

Best liquor brands you're not drinking

1. Barenjager
2. Luksusowa
3. Goslings Black Seal
4. Any Voodoo Tiki Tequila
5. Romana Sambuca
6. Burnett’s gin
7. Disaronno
8. Any brand of Limoncello
9. Sailor Jerry
10. Jim Beam Red Stag

Although I did find a lot of useful information in the "Sealing the one night stand" article.

Maker of Marteau Absinthe
Master Distiller, Gnostalgic Spirits Distillery
www.absinthemarteau.com
Confessions of an Absinthiste


#16 TheLoucheyMonster!

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 12:40 PM

While looking for new absinthe info, I am seeing some general trends, in webbyland, for example blogs, and threads in forums where absinthe is mentioned:

1. An on-going bias against US available, and in particular US MADE absinthe.

2. Confusion between wormwood content and thujone content in US made/or available absinthe.

some positive trends:
1. Examples of posts in which someone says 'don't bother with that Czech crap, its terrible' are becoming increasingly common, vs 'you gotta go for the Czech stuff'.

2. More frequent examples of thujone is not what it is hyped up to be, and an occasional point to WS or FV articles (from folks who are probably not members)

The battle is far from over, but keep up the good work all! :cheers:

#17 Evan Camomile

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 02:37 PM

Saw this a day or two ago and tried to comment on the article, at which point my browser locked up and my connection got really funky.

I decided it was a bait site so I didn't revisit. But yeah, it's a load of :poop: meant for people who don't know :poop: aiming at a target audience that likes to act like :poop: .

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#18 sandpedlar

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 03:20 PM

I gave Barenjager all kinds of opportunities, and all it did was disappoint. :thumbdown:
The bottle was cute, though.

#19 Jack Griffin

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 04:54 PM

Ah yes,

A loaf of bread, a cute bottle and Thou.

#20 Mat B.

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 06:25 PM

Well I guess there are still some people under the rock, so to speak...
"I will show you something different from either Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you; I will show you fear in a handful of dust."
-The Waste Land

“…and it’s appropriate to serve them, as long as you serve them appropriately.”
-Jules

#21 Gwydion Stone

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Posted 20 August 2011 - 10:03 PM

Barenjager's got nothin' on Old Krupnik.

Maker of Marteau Absinthe
Master Distiller, Gnostalgic Spirits Distillery
www.absinthemarteau.com
Confessions of an Absinthiste


#22 Pierre

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 10:14 AM

Looks like this was posted in the comments section today:

"If you’re from wormwoodsociety.org activate my account on your forums (username is sicknight) and i’ll post a reply to your thread.
Obviously we’re just trying to post anything related to partying, etc. If you guys come up with an article will replace this one with that one and credit you."

#23 Brian Robinson

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 10:50 AM

Calling Joe or G. :pirate:
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#24 Gwydion Stone

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 10:51 AM

If you’re from wormwoodsociety.org activate my account

Done.

Maker of Marteau Absinthe
Master Distiller, Gnostalgic Spirits Distillery
www.absinthemarteau.com
Confessions of an Absinthiste


#25 sicknight

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:06 AM

We're not douche enough to not admit when we're wrong or out of our realm of knowledge. We just love to have a good time and always wanted an online source dedicated to partying. This Absinthe article was one of the first times I didn't feel great posting an article, because to be honest I don't know much past when I used to be in the Navy and get hammered off of it in Spain, and Italy. People love these top 10 lists and we have to pay for the servers somehow. I put a good amount of research in the top 10 European brands, but outside that..

We would love for anyone here to write a better top 10 article and we'll replace that one and credit wormwoodsociety.org. We might be wrong on this subject, but we're not douchebags. We can admit when were wrong.


Sicknight.com get's around 80k unique visitors a month, and that absinthe article will most likely end up top 3 in google for "best absinthe" here in the next week.


Google any of these keywords and see where sicknight.com ranks.

"best whiskey"
"best rum"
"best vodka"
"best rum"

We actually knew what we were talking about in those articles.

Jeff
Sicknight.com
Happiest when travelling, travelling costs money. I've found that money does buy happiness.


#26 Gwydion Stone

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:19 AM

Thanks for coming in Jeff. We'd be happy to help you set things right. I just PM'ed you with some ideas.

Sicknight.com get's around 80k unique visitors a month, and that absinthe article will most likely end up top 3 in google for "best absinthe" here in the next week.

Good thing we caught it when we did, then.

Maker of Marteau Absinthe
Master Distiller, Gnostalgic Spirits Distillery
www.absinthemarteau.com
Confessions of an Absinthiste


#27 sardonix

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:30 AM

OK, I'll temper the "douche-bag" comment, since you're willing to post here and state your case. And I'll admit I haven't read any of your other "best-of" rank articles; maybe you really do know your whiskey, rum, etc.
The problem with your absinthe article, as a legion of enthusiasts here will be happy to point out, is that it perpetuates the myth that absinthe is a dangerous "drug", and that thujone is analogous to LSD or marijuana.
When you think about how long absinthe was banned, nearly world-wide, the fact that somehow it was allowed to return on a large-scale basis is pretty astounding. It took a lot of effort to counter the long-term stigma associated with the drink; when we see yet another completely off-base article that tries to capitalize on that stigma, it tends to rile us up a bit.
I think, therefore I am. Or am I over-thinking? I am thinking it over...

#28 sicknight

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:36 AM

Take a look at the rest of the site. It's chock full of ads every other paragraph. It basically a click generator targeting the binge-drinking youth market, and the other articles there pretty much come from the same mentality. It's like the drinking version of Sesame Street for college kids.

This tells you everything you need to know about the site:

Best liquor brands you're not drinking

1. Barenjager
2. Luksusowa
3. Goslings Black Seal
4. Any Voodoo Tiki Tequila
5. Romana Sambuca
6. Burnett’s gin
7. Disaronno
8. Any brand of Limoncello
9. Sailor Jerry
10. Jim Beam Red Stag

Although I did find a lot of useful information in the "Sealing the one night stand" article.




I'd challenge the members here to not make the same mistake I made by not doing their due diligence.

We don't have ads after every other paragraph, but two after the first two paragraphs. Like I said we have to pay for the servers somehow. Our traffic volume bandwidth requires us to operate on a dedicated server.

You won't find the same lack of research on any other article we have like you will on the Absinthe article. I made a mistake, and i'm here to fix it.

Like I wrote in my message, I welcome anyone to write a better article and I will replace it:

- Credit the author
- Credit Wormwoodsociety.org
- Give wormwoodsociety.org a free advertisement banner on that article ( to help spread the right message about absinthe)

That article will see at least 300-600 unique hits a day.

Help me right our wrong.

Jeff
Sicknight.com

Edited by sicknight, 21 August 2011 - 11:37 AM.

Happiest when travelling, travelling costs money. I've found that money does buy happiness.


#29 Gwydion Stone

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:47 AM

Fair enough.

[edit: I wrote the post below while you were posting the above.]

I just read the lucid brand review at sicknight, and I think your absinthe education will be well under way once you can understand just a few basic facts, and learn the history and principles behind them:

FACT 1. Absinthe is not, nor has it ever been, any sort of mind-altering drug. (yes, we know alcohol is a drug, but besides that)

FACT 2. Thujone is not a hallucinogen. It's not a euphoric. It's not a drug of any kind. It's a poison and will fuck up your kidneys.

FACT 3. Modern scientific analysis of pre-ban absinthes and of modern absinthes made by pre-ban protcols and recipes, demonstrates that thujone has never been present in authentic absinthe in large quantities. Certainly never anywhere near the observable effects level.

FACT 4. Much of the absinthe available in the US, especially the brands made here, are every bit as authentic as those made in Europe. Much of the absinthe made in Europe is completely fake.

Several members of this board, including myself, became absinthe distillers precisely because we wanted to make authentic absinthe, exactly as it was made before the ban. Our fanatical attention to tradition and authenticity has placed them among the best absinthes in the world.

[edit 2: FACT 5: Absinthe is not a shooter. It's not meant to be drunk as a strong liquor, it's an extract—a concentrate—and is intended to be diluted with at least three parts water.]

Maker of Marteau Absinthe
Master Distiller, Gnostalgic Spirits Distillery
www.absinthemarteau.com
Confessions of an Absinthiste


#30 Cletus

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Posted 21 August 2011 - 11:52 AM

Had the same discussion with a friend last night. His opinions mirrored the articles very closely. The only way I could convince him was to give him a sample of Meadow of Love,
Pacifique , and a imported rotgut absinthe that shall not be named. He changed his mind afterwards. :thumbup:


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