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Alfred Jarry

Greetings Monsieurs and Mademoiselles!

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Merdre! I twisted the knuckle of my toe stepping in from the outside! No matter. After all, it should come as no surprise that you should see a man such as myself speak to you from such a sight. For, alas, I am an individual unbeknownst to this particular board.

 

However, though I am but yet a stranger amongst this group of familiar faces, I grant before you my most sincere (though artless form) of endearment. For welcoming me as a new person who has come into your presence for the first time (however faceless or non-physical), I see your acceptance as a positive sign. As if foreseeing into the future from off the sights of a mystic prophet seer, I can say that I am glad to have found such friends within such a humble forum.

 

I welcome myself before you, and hope you would be as welcoming of me. This society, like a doormat greeting a man from the distant shores of Mars, is a place I should soon find to be a cozy shanty for myself. That is to say if you accept this man with a form of welcome.

 

Thank you.

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Hey! Did you call me a shanty? :g:

 

Well, I've been called worse so welcome anyway. :cheers:

 

Thank you kind and humble sir, whose delicious spirit I am enjoying as we speak. Le Magnifique! :cheers:

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Henry James, is that you? :pirate:

 

Anyway, Howdy, and welcome to the forum. :wave2: :cheers:

 

Sir James and I do find it quite agreeable to have tea at times. However, only whilst there are no portraits of any ladies at present.

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I'm still waiting for you to compete in the Tour de France, Monsieur. :harhar:

 

Bienvenue! :cheers:

 

The feeling of "that which blows" while riding on "that which rolls" is paramount to none, dear sir. However, that dastardly man, Picasso, has since ransacked me of my two pistols, and I know longer have the gift of warning the Paris people of my fast approach. Nowadays, I use "that which rolls" to get around my apartment. However, thankfully I still maintain a strict diet of perpetual motion food which allows me to continually participate in the perpetual motion races from time to time.

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"that which rolls"

 

And that's just how he rolls, folks.

 

Centuries and millennia may come and go, but great idioms remain indefatigable! :thumbup:

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You look kind of like a young John Belushi. I'll bet you get that a lot.

such a humble forum [...] is a place I should soon find to be a cozy shanty for myself.

Well, bless your heart, welcome to our humble little shanty. Mind, you don't git yer wheels stuck in th' spaces between the floor-boards. That's whar we thow the scraps fer the dawgs. They sleep under the house.

 

I still maintain a strict diet of perpetual motion food...

So, coffee?

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I still maintain a strict diet of perpetual motion food...

So, coffee?

 

My miraculous perpetual motion food was invented to promote bicycling, love making and other wonderful imaginary solutions. Marcel Duchamp promoted it throughout the 20th century. A wonderful food chalked full of various bitter flavors. It is a simple construction, composed of alcohol and a few dashes of strychnine. I should warn that it should only be consumed by supermales; that is to say: hyperbolic monsters of masculinity who can ride 10,000 miles on "that which rolls" at the speed of a locomotive, and, where upon doing so, can, afterwards, successfully copulate a total of 82 times with the opposite sex in a span of 24 hours.

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