Jump to content
Jay

The Absinthe Joke thread

Recommended Posts

I couldn't find a similarly-themed thread in the forum, and I think humor is the best medicine (after a dose of the green fairy, of course), but if there is one and I simply missed it in my non-drunken haze, feel free to move this post into it.

 

So, here's one worthy of WS to start us off with:

 

 

 

After a distiller's convention, several of the salespeople decide to go out for a drink.

 

The guy from LTV sits down and says to the bartender, "Sir, I would like a shot of Virgin's contractually-obligated brand of absinthe -- LTV." The bartender pulls the green bottle down from the shelf and pours him one.

 

The salesman from the L'Or distillery, "Give me the absinthe fratboys all over the world prove their manliness with -- give me 'The King Of Spirits'." The bartender pours him a shot.

 

The guy from Hill's says, "I want the bohemian absinth du'jour that doesn't need an 'e' on the end: give me a Hill's. Oh, and a pack of matches." He gets them.

 

The salesman from the Combier distillery sits down and says, "I'll have a glass of orange juice." The bartender is a little taken aback, but pours the juice for him.

 

The other salesmen look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Jade, or a Lucid?" To which the Combier salesman replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking absinthe, neither would I."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A lot of you probably recognize that first joke as a modified version of an old beer joke. Here's some OC with a joke I just made up, so tell me what you think.

 

 

Question: What's the difference between chlorophyll and chloroform?

Answer: Either one would knock you out if it was used to color a Czechsinthe.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

A man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "What can I get you?"

 

The man says, "Set me up with seven absinthes." The bartender pours seven doses into seven glasses and watches the man power-louche all seven with a quickness and then drink one down, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.

 

"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."

 

The bartender asks trepidatiously, "What do you have?"

 

The man whispers, "I have a dollar."

 

 

[another "modified" joke]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Elixier.

KOS

KOSG

Perigan

Kruts Karport

Hills

LTV

Any absinth bottle with the word 'strong' on the label.

 

The list is far too long to enumerate in its entirety.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not to be confused with Tchaikovsky's "Pathetique", I hope. I like that symphony.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What’s funnier than King of Spirits Absinth?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Placing the word “Gold” as an adjective in the “deluxe” version to denote better “quality”.

 

Thank you. I’m here all week. Remember to tip your waiters and bartenders.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Q: How many Paul Nathan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

A: I'm so glad you brought up "the bust" because I think it's such a fascinating story. Let's start from the beginning...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Q: How many Paul Nathan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

A: I'm so glad you brought up "the bust" because I think it's such a fascinating story. Let's start from the beginning...

:laf: :laf: :laf: :laf:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Not bad Phoenix, a bit like reality TV. I also liked the one baubel posted. *grin*

 

 

 

Somebody bribed me to post it for a bottle of something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is that a bus I hear? :devil:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Q: How many Paul Nathan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

 

A: I'm so glad you brought up "the bust" because I think it's such a fascinating story. Let's start from the beginning...

:laf: :laf: :laf: :laf:

What Shabba said!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Q: How many Paul Nathan's does it take to screw in a light bulb?...

I shouldn't laugh, but I had a read of the guy's site and...

well, the joke is funny. :laugh:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×