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Brand: La Fee Bohemian

Country of Origin: Czech Republic

Today's Date: 11 December 2008

Style: Other

Producer: La Fee/Green Utopia

COLOR NOTES:The color isn't entirely repulsive but would certainly be more appropriate in costume jewelry or sour apple hard candy: in the sample bottle the shade is aggressive; when poured into a shot glass it thins a bit but flattens out as well so that the green notes become more evident. 2 points.

LOUCHE NOTES: There is no louche at all. No clouds, no trails or fog, nada, just some amorphous blobs of burnt sugar swirling when I stir. 1 point.

AROMA NOTES: High sharp alcohol notes before the addition of water. There is an underlying scent that seems maddeningly familiar but just out of reach....is it menthol? It isn't easy to isolate due to the overpowering booze-fumes singeing my goatee.

After water the scent grows in reach and offensiveness. I have to give it a 2 because there is more than just alcohol present, but what has been added is frightening. I am very scared to taste it, especially after the addition of caramelized sugar. 2 points.

FLAVOR NOTES: Astonishingly awful. The aroma didn't properly prepare me for what was to come: I was so shocked I actually spat the first mouthful into the sink after just a few seconds. I had to psych myself up for the second drink the way people run and jump into cold water. The second was even worse than the first because I swallowed it, which allowed the harsh finish to completely coat the inside of my mouth and surface of my tongue. This is by far the most disgusting alcohol I have ever personally tasted, and that includes things like MD2020, which I used to swill during early delinquency. Who in their right mind would pay money for this? I can taste absolutely no anise, fennel or wormwood in this drink. Unfortunately there is no score for zero, so I must give it 1 point.

FINISH NOTES: Thank god I am finished. 1 point.

OVERALL NOTES: La Fee sent along a set of matches, spoon (shorter and more round than the French, with no holes but a little pinup devil girl painted in the bowl) and sugar, all with strict instructions on how to burn, water and consume. I decided to take them at their word and follow the directions. Now I understand why there are so many Youtube videos of fratboys on fire: it takes a full two minutes for the alcohol to finish burning in the spoon; of course, if you dropped it in the glass before that the entire thing would ignite in your face. Even after adding water and stirring vigorously there is a small island of burnt sugar swirling in the bottom of the glass.

I am not sure why anyone, let alone the reasonably savvy (or so I had assumed until this moment) marketers at La Fee would send out samples of this for free: after trying it no one would ever want to buy it. This isn't even decent swill, let alone decent absinth(e). It could cure alcoholism: you'll never want to drink again. 1 point

 

COLOR x 0.8 = 1.6

 

LOUCHE x 0.8 = .8

AROMA x 0.9 = 1.8

FLAVOR x 1.0 = 1.0

FINISH x 0.5 = .5

OVERALL x 1.0 = 1.0

 

TOTAL = 1.3

 

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I never understood why so many people were adamant that the sugar flaming process is ridiculously dangerous but I certainly do now. Growing up outside Chicago, I knew a kid who made pseudo-napalm "Anarchist's Cookbook"-style by soaking styrofoam in gasoline for short amounts of time. It would burn forever. It strikes me that soaking a small block of sugar in 140-proof booze and setting it afire is roughly the same process and exactly as stupid.

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One time I tried to light a sugar cube on fire. Yes sir, dangerous, especially as I was pretty toasted at that point. The OUTSIDE of my glass caught fire, (I guess some residue of the absinthe had dripped over the side), and my dresser got a little burned. My girlfriend was pretty upset.

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I have a friend at work who has only had absinthe with the flaming sugar method. Having never done it, I have a hard time arguing against its taste-changing properties, aside from how I know the taste of charred anything changes whatever it's in, so my argument has always been more along the lines of "I'll only point and laugh when you set your house on fire."

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I agree, absolutely!

 

It's the funniest review I've read since Absinthesizer's hysterical scathing of KOSG on Fee Verte, as a member of The Chosen™.

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Many things do.

 

As far as burning goes, I made the mistake before becoming enlightened (Thanks WS) luckily only did it once or twice. I quickly learned that melting off the sugar defiantly changes the taste of the drink (and not in a positive way).

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The above being three examples of members of our esteemed Canadian Forces, complete with Air Command and Maritime Command headgear badges, and the notorious "cornflake" badge, worn by recruits until they have earned the right to regimental insignia. Thanks, WBT!

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The color was like mouthwash. The louche.................n/m. The narrator sounded like he'd been sampling for awhile before making this video. I'm glad he didn't use matches but isn't the Bohemian method done with fire?

 

Some folks just don't read the labels. *sigh*

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A person could buy a lot of good absinthe for what was spent on those. A whole lot!

 

I don't have near that many bottles but what I have is worth sharing with friends. Of course he could have been using the stuff to run his tractor.

 

Wait, that wasn't Shabba's house was it? *devil grin*

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I think the "Braindead" poster on the wall says it all.

 

Absinth absinth everywhere but not a drop to drink!

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I'm not a stickler about spelling but come on! I fixed it. *devil wink*

 

Quite right--duly corrected. That's what I get for attempting a geeky English prof. reference! ;)

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I have two of those free LFB "kits" waiting for me when I get home(They had a reasonable price on two MCD books; plus I wanted a spoon and a keyring for my collection)... I think the kits will be staying sealed as collector items!

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