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psi3000

Colbert Report talks about

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Steven Colbert talks about the new legal drink Absinthe, as I laugh my ass off and wet the bed I'm watching it in.

Here's how it went down last night on the Colbert Report (pronounced The Colber Repor):

# Well, right now, young people are facing an insidious old menace. The alcoholic threat known as absinthe. It has become fashionable again, and as psychologist Patricia Farrell told Reuters, “underage revelers are going to want it because of . . . the sense of ‘danger’ that comes with it”.

# Kids love danger. That is why so many young people today suck on Chinese toys. We have to nip this in the wormwood bud. Which brings us to tonight’s WØRD. "Absinthetinence"

# Youth Nation, absinthe is not good old-fashioned booze, it’s BAD old-fashioned booze. This 124-proof firewater has been banned since 1912 because this stuff can do serious damage, not just to your liver, but to your kidneys. *Stephen points to his head* [stephen Was Home-Schooled].

# You see, for centuries, this alcoholic hallucinogen turned men into mad, creative types. Van Gogh loved it so much, he’d go to any lengths to garnish his glass [pic of an absinthe glass “garnished” with a severed ear].

# Oscar Wilde said that absinthe gave him the sensation of tulips brushing against his shins — ‘Two lips’ that probably belonged to George Bernard Shaw [Known As “Giving a Pygmalion”].

# And Picasso — Picasso drank so much of the stuff that to him, women looked like this [image of Picasso’s “Woman with Hat Seated in Armchair“]. They’re in there, guys. Keep lookin’.

# Look at this new bottle of a legal absinthe called Lucid. Brought to you by Cats, evidently. ‘Lucid’ absinthe? I haven’t seen a product so misnamed since Club crackers. You don’t actually have to be a member to buy these. [but Why No Black Keebler Elves?]

# I want young people to join me in a pledge of abstinence from absinthe, by taking this absinthetinence pledge. Say it with me:

 

* Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge: “I, state your name, do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe . . . Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient synesthetic inspiration and sinister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”

* Editor’s note: Day-um, Stephen!!

 

# Now, if you aren’t high on absinthe, you should be able to say that pledge. [if You’re High On Pledge, Get Help.] And, folks, I hope you will, because I was up all night writing it. Just me, pen and paper, a six of Red Bull, two packs of menthols and a handful of Benadryl to cut the shakes.

 

 

Just wanted to share this piece of humor with you.

Edited by psi3000

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I just watched the clip, it's awesome.

Of note the "garnished" glass is a pont reservior glass filled to the top with unlouched absinthe (I swear I've seen the picture before, perhaps used on one of those shame ebay auctions). He also pulled out the bottle of Lucid. Expect lucid to be unfindable at stores for a bit.

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Not to get political here, but that made me have to check my favourite liberal blog to see if they talked about it, hoping they hadn't. They had, and some of the typical crap was being said so I had to do some damage control.

 

Based on how the people there constantly scream about the opposing party ignoring science when it doesn't agree with their pre-established views, I'm really hoping they will listen to reason and follow the links.

 

Somehow, I think it's more human nature than a political perspective, though.

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Well, the discussion I had was pretty good. Not many involved by the time I got there but they were receptive, and some people had posted mostly good information before that, although usually not convincingly or with anything to back themselves up. I even saw a link to WS before I posted it again for emphasis.

 

Word is really getting around.

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Colbert cracks me up. I will have to go watch that clip. I find it absolutely hilarious, even though my political views and apathetic. A friend did give me a 'wrist strong' bracelet though.

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What delusions?

 

Besides, since I've lost 35 pounds, I'm no longer pear shaped, so now I'll have to figure out what shape the world is, all over again. :tongue:

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He's probably drunk Verona GentlemanShabba.

 

Ba-Zing... A few more jabs and I might actually have to change the avatar!

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I actually meet people offline...

What is this 'offline' you speak of??? :blink:

 

"Offline" is a place I recently discovered due to my computer being kaputt. It's a crazy place. Thankfully my computer is now back in action.

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