Jump to content
bal-de-vis

Monsieur Eddie est arrivé.

Recommended Posts

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! Eddie appeared this morning, secreted in a Styrofoam sarcophagus. How marvelous to once again experience the intoxicating fragrance of true French Styrofoam! Its evocative aroma transports my senses – perhaps to the exotic port of Marseilles, its bustling marketplace vibrant with the bellowing of merchants and the smell of moule mariniere, its waterfront teeming with rough sailors from faraway lands and hardened, gimlet-eyed ladies of the night. Ah, my genitals tingle at the very thought! If I could only find seven other people to do it with, I’d... oh, I don’t know, maybe dance a quadrille or something. I would have to say that Ted B. is the finest purveyor of authentic Styrofoam français, bar none.

 

Aside from a portion of his wax headgear having been chipped off, Eddie seems to be unmolested by clumsy monkeys or meddling customs agents. I will take care to record my experience – purely for the sake of research – and present my findings to you members of l'Académie, whereupon you will undoubtedly mock me unmercifully as a mere dilettante or dismiss my findings as the ravings of a madman. Curse you, curse you all. I’ll show you – I’ll show all of you supercilious doctrinaires!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I actually find the French styrofoam to be kind of lacking these days. Sure, it's better quality than the Czech styrofom, but for real quality, look to the Swiss and sometimes even the German brands in the future.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I have some pre-ban styrofoam you can buy...it's an old Big-Mac container.

I would pay considerably for an antique McDLT container. You know they kept the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have some pre-ban styrofoam you can buy...it's an old Big-Mac container.

I would pay considerably for an antique McDLT container. You know they kept the hot stuff hot and the cold stuff cold.

 

Aw, hell - I remember getting those in the '80s. I used to just throw them away! What a fool I was!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fortunately, he didn't take the special Master's Degree in Arcane Convoluted Sesquipedal Waffle from the Desert Dwarf.

 

I bet it's because it was overpriced.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

All right, No joking or screwing around, here’s my first impression, if anyone’s still interested.

 

Last night I only had time for one belt – and did it in the traditional fashion with a very small sugar cube and a carefully measured ratio of 1 part Eddie to 3 parts water. Not a revelation, really – the resultant cocktail struck me as rather weak and watery, and the flavour of anise seemed predominant. That’s not so much a problem for me, as I happen to like anise-flavored drinks a lot (Sambuca, Arak, Pernod), but I didn’t detect a lot more than that this time. Maybe the fact that it was late and I was dead tired had some effect.

 

Tonight I determined that I like a stronger mix (not such great news economically, at least), and “eyeballed” the mix at about 1 part Eddie to 1 and a half to two parts water. - with no sugar. Great improvement! I could detect the bitterness of the other herbs behind the anise, and I happen to enjoy the little bit of alcoholic bite that a stronger mix provides. The bitterness is not at all unpleasant, as I’d feared, but adds a certain dimension to the taste. My palette is not educated enough to pick out the notorious “Jade funk,” but I have to say that so far I like this particular drink a lot, so perhaps it’s something that agrees with me. Bring on da funk! I followed it up with some Arak, and it certainly seems a bit one-dimensional in comparison, which provides some perspective. And speaking of perspective, would any of you care to suggest a follow-up purchase to give me a little perspective on the range of stuff out there - something a bit less anise-heavy perhaps?

 

Anyway, sorry if this was too wordy. I know that annoys some of you – but since I’ve got a nice, pleasant little buzz going right now, perhaps you’ll forgive me if I say “too f*cking bad.” And incidentally, the absinthe is lovely indeed, but damn – I still say that French Styrofoam is AWESOME.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm glad to hear you enjoyed the Eddie. It's high on my list of next purchases.

There's something I've been stuck on for a couple of days:

 

Ah, my genitals tingle at the very thought!  If I could only find seven other people to do it with, I’d...  oh, I don’t know, maybe dance a quadrille or something. 

 

Did you want seven people to join you in drinking absinthe, or did you want them for the genital tingling?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Whatever develops, really - including dancing a quadrille.

 

I guess the Jades' reputation speaks for itself. Anyway, I sure like it, and I'm glad I didn't get caught up in the hype and BS over the various Czech pretenders out there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Oh crap, here goes his other ear.

Yeah - a terrible thing to happen to someone like me who wears eyeglasses.

 

Not necessarily. Pince nez may come back into vogue.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
...perhaps you’ll forgive me if I say “too f*cking bad.” 

 

And by the way, sorry if that bothered anyone here, but I'm used to slightly rowdier message boards, and I was a bit ripped last night, and I do come from a broken home (carnies and sideshow geeks, and the like) -- oh, and society's to blame.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Not necessarily. Pince nez may come back into vogue.

 

You know that revealing a penchant for pince-nez and saying you're a Kate Bush lover may make people mistake you for someone else...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
You know that revealing a penchant for pince-nez and saying you're a Kate Bush lover may make people mistake you for someone else...

And who might that be? FDR? Toulouse-Lautrec? Please don't keep me guessing.

:harhar:

 

How many of you have received this e-mail? (italics added):

"Our international shipments have been delayed due to unprecedented levels of orders resulting from a recent article in The New Yorker magazine. Our shippers are working round the clock to clear the backlog, but you may experience delays of between three and five days. If you have ordered from us before you will know that we pride ourselves in our fast delivery and usually you receive your package in less than five days, so this delay is causing us considerable embarrassment. If this is your first order we can assure you that this delay is not something you would normally experience and has been due to circumstance beyond our control. We appreciate your patience and understand the inconvenience that this must be causing you."
Edited by Guillaume Lanfray

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now

×